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Getting rid of dramatic friend

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Find out more about cookies and your privacy in our policy. If you want to make it work, check out our guide to dealing with a toxic friendship for some tips. A lot of people find, though, that with a little time and patience, friendships can grow stronger after moving through hard times together. This method involves sitting down with the person and letting them know that the friendship is over. This is a pretty tough option and requires a lot of courage from you, the same way that breaking up with a partner would.

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3 ways to end a toxic friendship

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Dear Polly,. One of my friends, Z, and her husband have been part of the group for nearly five years. Z has been struggling with depression for a while.

The problem is several-fold:. Sitting in every lap, kissing people on the mouth, being extremely handsy, the works. She also has really intense mood swings. Recently, we had a big birthday party for a friend, and she was … manic, I guess is the best way to describe it. At one point, we were sitting outside with the chairs in a circle so we could all talk, and she picked hers up and put it right in the middle. The intensity was gone, and she was so quiet, deeply sad, almost lethargic.

She was blazing hot one day and numbingly cold the next. Her husband has been confiding in me about his struggles with Z.

He and I are very similar people — neurotic, cynical, overly empathetic — we jive and he needs someone to talk to about her. He feels exhausted, alone, frustrated, hurt, done. I love them both! I should be able to give them the love and support they need, right?

Because these people are family to me, I feel compelled to stick it out for them. How do you balance your love for your friends, their bottomless pit of emotional need, and your own emotional stability?

Dear Juiced,. You learn to say no. You learn to say no without smiling. You learn to say no without apologizing. Because underneath all of your loyalty and love, you might want to be less accommodating. You might want to throw a party without worrying about the spectacle of your friend acting like a page out of the DSM You might want to spend a quiet evening alone, thinking about what you really want and need from your life.

You might want to spend time with some of your friends but not ALL of your friends. And you might even find that your very loud and repeated insistence that you love, love, LOOOVE a certain friend is sometimes a teensy hint that you also dislike that person a little bit. You are firmly committed to this story that your friends are amazing and supportive and that their open relationship is working for them.

But neither of them is being that sensitive or supportive toward you at this moment, and their relationship choices are quite demonstrably NOT working for them right now. These two people are both unhappy. It would be corrosive to your sanity to worry about their problems and their dynamics more than you already do. Instead, you need to figure out what you want and need, and figure out how to ask for those things without feeling like a garbage person just for asking.

Embrace NO. If Z and her husband are in crisis, should you really be in the middle of it, if you want to remain friends with both of them? Are you treating this friendship group as your one and only source of support, and if so, is that a good idea? Because groups are tough.

Most groups that have only lasted four to ten years dissolve at some point. Groups let you down. You need friendships outside this group. Yes, it takes time. Open your eyes, widen your net, and be patient. You need this. Experiment with asking these new friends for what you want without apology. Explain to him what you believe he truly deserves, and why. Put some real effort into your letter in order to inspire him to ask for more.

Inspire him to WANT more. Describe to him how much better his life could be if he could just see, with clear eyes, how much he has to offer to other people. He could treat himself as precious and important, maybe for the first time. He could protect himself from this feeling of constant neglect. Just for showing up and being there. Just for being who he is, good and bad, charming and quiet, cheerful and fun and also sometimes sad and broken.

Can you do that now, without reading the rest of this reply? Even if the letter is short, take a break and write it. There are a few important things you end up saying every time you talk to him. Write those down. Remember that the specifics of what he tells you from day to day about his wife are almost irrelevant.

You already get the picture. And if you DO need that, that says something about you. You must be busying yourself with this shit in order to avoid something else.

Okay, go write your letter. Did you write it? I mean it. Go do it! Okay, are you back now? Did you do it? Now read your letter. You just wrote a letter to yourself. I spent my whole life treating some of my friends as family.

They could do anything they wanted, and it was my job to show up and be supportive about it. But the family types of friends got a pass. Plus, we had so much history! They would only get defensive! I had to back off. It was easier to bend reality using my mind than it was to admit that I got dumped on a lot. It was easier to just call it a two-way street.

It was easier to keep eating shit than to speak up. But because I took away my own voice and played The Good Friend for so long, eventually my resentment came leaking out. I seemed resentful. And then I did speak up. Can you trust your own words and follow your own advice? Do you have to pretend that the advice is coming from someone else in order to trust it? If so, that says a lot. It will take time to see that anyone can leave you, at any time, and sadly that part of life is not in your control.

Your friends, many of them, will leave you. In this group, in other groups, individually. You are strong, though, and you deserve friends — new friends, old friends, casual friends. Read your letter again. You wrote it yourself: You deserve better than this.

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3 Tips for Dealing with a Toxic Friendship

Toxic relationships don't just apply to romantic partnerships. Sometimes, friendships with people can turn out just as abusive and damaging. Rather than bringing company and comfort to your life, a toxic friendship will bring exhaustion and frustration, says psychologist and therapist Perpetua Neo. Read more: 9 signs it's time to end a friendship, according to therapists. There are quite a few signs you can look out for to tell you whether or not a friendship isn't healthy, Neo told Business Insider.

Our friends can bring joy into our lives. However, sometimes, our friends can also cause us grief and a lot of stress.

BFF breakups are notoriously brutal. Unlike romantic relationships where you can vent to your bestie for hours over too many mimosas, losing your closest friend can leave you feeling even more hollow and isolated. Getting through it is no easy feat, but it can be done. Eventually, things can get so much better than you'll be weirdly grateful that the breakup happened.

‘I Can’t Deal With My Friends’ Drama Any More!’

Some people are addicted to drama. They claim they hate drama as they call you, post on Facebook, and tell the latest tale to anyone willing to listen. Early in my ministry, I was helping a woman who was living in a chaotic situation. She had made some bad choices and the consequences of those choices were difficult. She had surrounded herself with bad people and was suffering because of it. But over time, we worked though some things and all the drama of her life settled down. Two months later she was back in my office. She had repeated the same choices as before.

15 Types of Friends You Should Get Rid Of Immediately

If a friendship is causing you a lot of pain and problems, it may be toxic. Or maybe you both seem to bring out the worst qualities in each other. Strong friendships can — and often do — have rough patches, but difficult or toxic friendships never seem to go smoothly. Toxic friendships can be confusing and hard to deal with because you may value the relationship despite the hurt it causes. Sometimes friends just drift apart.

Dear Polly,. One of my friends, Z, and her husband have been part of the group for nearly five years.

Less associated with this concept is the end of a friendship, but friendship breakups are very real, and can be just as painful and significant as ending romantic relationships. Almost everyone has people they were once close with but no longer are. Only you know the ins and outs of your relationship with a friend. You first need to establish exactly what is bothering you about a friendship.

Friends forever? How to deal with a toxic friendship.

Hi MR. How do I deal with an energy-sucking friend? I love her. She is someone who I consider to be one of my best friends since high school!

When we were younger, it was much easier to make friends. But as we get older, friendships become more complex and fostering healthy friendships takes a little more effort than it used to. And finding authentically good friends can be hard to find. One of the reasons for this is that we seek something more from friendships than we did when we were younger. For example, having someone who is supportive is a key quality in adult friendships, as is someone who is respectful of your boundaries. Healthy friendships make life easier and more enjoyable.

7 Ways To Survive A BFF Breakup

Then one day I realized there was a reason I always found myself in dramatic relationships: I was attracted to drama like a moth to a flame. The things I said and did contradicted because it was easier to blame the world and stay the same than it would be to really see myself and make a change. Maybe your close friend has as many catastrophes as there are days of the week. With this in mind, I recently asked on the Tiny Buddha Facebook page : How do you minimize drama in your life? I took a sampling of the responses and formulated this guide to defusing drama:.

Friendship quotes, quote on frienships, quotations about best, good friends Hate You Be a No Drama Llama: A Video Course To Help You Disarm Toxic People Removing toxic people from your life - Simple Reminders Toxic Family.

Have you ever dealt with someone who was overdramatic? This can be a family member, a friend, an acquaintance, or even a stranger. They may say things that often times are exaggerated or act in ways to get attention, which can often cause lots of frustration when dealing with them. I had an aunt that always needed to be right.

5 Ways to Deal with Dramatic People

Passionate love that can turn toxic and sour or even just Friendships are also complex dances that can end in tears and breakups. If some of your connections just don't feel right anymore, you might be wondering how to know when to end a friendship. Sometimes, you're just at different places in your lives, which itself can be benign.

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